WE’VE four dogs in our household at the moment (which feels like two too many).

But our daughter and son-in-law will reclaim the spaniel and collie cross lab on return from honeymoon…

People often ask after Poppy, my vexatious and redoubtable pug x JRT.

She remains as troublesome as ever, yet daily endears herself to me: impossible to ignore, she’s characterful, opportunistic, cheerful and unfortunately, unpredictable. Currently, she’s restricted to chasing round our garden and field.

Neighbours have a young puppy who’s exercised on the same local walks – and Poppy has decided, terrier fashion, that this particular puppy is a bad thing.

Puppies can be adversely affected by nasty experiences with other dogs – so I’m exercising ours where there’s no chance we’ll meet the puppy off-lead. It’s all a bit of a palaver. Sometimes, if truth be told, I think Poppy is 100 per cent of a palaver…

Recently, we inherited a charming miniature schnauzer aged nine. No-one wanted to take on an older dog whose best years were behind her, but she was known to our son who pleaded on her behalf – convincing us our lives might be incomplete without her. Hmm. But, unlike some I could mention she sports a charming temperament and is as sweet as Poppy is awkward.

Last September, on introducing the two dogs to one other (you couldn’t even see the schnauzer’s eyes for hair) I’m not sure Poppy even recognised Indi as a fellow dog: and upon Poppy’s rapid, erratic, and noisy approach the poor little Schnauzer let out not a howl, nor a bark, but a high-pitched squeal of terror.

Poppy, the wuss, scampered for cover before reapproaching with caution. The rest, as they say, is history.

Easy-going Indi is so very different to our terrier-brained mongrel it would appear she offers no perceptible threat.

They have become inseparable. Indeed, with winter advancing I sense an opportunistic element creeping into their relationship.

Poppy has a short coat and a bare tummy – whereas Indi is covered with soft, luxurious fur which, if assigned a tog-value, would surely be warmer than the most luxurious of duvets.

On chillier evenings the awkward one has taken to climbing aboard her very-own resident sleeping, breathing, hot water-bottle: the schnauzer doesn’t seem to mind at all…

A group of friends and I meet weekly to walk anything up to 17 dogs together.

Poppy’s behaviour when out with this ‘larger pack’ interests me greatly. Taking her cue from others – all of whom are very laid back – she ignores everything she normally chooses to be indignant about.

Butter wouldn’t melt and all of that – joggers pass us, other dogs, people in fluorescent clothing etc, without Little Miss Jeckell revealing Little Miss Hyde.

I’d love to climb inside her brain, press all the right buttons, and end up with Little Miss Perfect.

But methinks, more’s the pity, that just ain’t going to happen…