That was the overriding emotion pouring out of Adrian Cieslewicz last week when his goal sealed all three points for Welsh Premier League champions-elect The New Saints against Cardiff Met.
The Faroe Islander had only just stepped onto the pitch, marking his first appearance since fracturing his skull in two places in a clash of heads against Llandudno in August.
The 26-year-old former Wrexham striker insisted he tried to keep a lid on his emotions after the game, but admitted it was an emotional night once the adrenalin stopped pumping.
“The feeling when the ball crossed the line after scoring on my return, was just relief,” he said.
“It was just relief to be back on that pitch, and more importantly, back scoring goals which is what I’ve been doing all my life really.
“Saturday night after the game was emotional, yeah. I came home and was with my son Ronnie, who’s only three months old, and my missus too. Everyone was delighted for me, so it was very much an emotional one, for sure.
“I’m not sure there were tears, as I try and keep them on the inside, but it was definitely emotional for us all. But now I’ve got Ronnie and everything I do is for him now.”
Cieslewicz admitted the timing of the injury was bad – his partner, Natalie, was close to giving birth – but insists there are positives to take from it.
He knew the call to make his first team return was coming, and admitted he’s not scared to throw his head in where it hurts
He added: “I was meant to be in the squad the week before against Newtown, but the headgear I have to wear didn’t arrive in time.
“Like the game, there was relief when I saw the head protection had come on the Tuesday because I knew I was going to be playing again.
“I’ve had a different headguard that I’ve been training with, but it’s not suited to playing games in.
“I did go for a header as soon as I came on actually against Cardiff Met. I felt a lot more confident with the headguard, psychologically, and I’ve had no problems that way.
“I most definitely feared for my career, as soon as they said ‘operation’ that day – it was that serious.
“I was worried, when I look back, and you start thinking differently outside of football, and maybe gives you a kick up the backside to start doing different things.
“But to look another way, I was at home when Ronnie was born and I got to spend the first few months with him on a daily basis.”
The Polish-born forward acknowledges the darkest moments, but is now only looking forward.
He said: “The darkest moments are all in one basket.
“The first two weeks were so painful, but as soon as I got home with my family, things got better and then when I was in the gym with the lads, things were great.
“Now I’m back playing, hopefully I can look forward to winning more trophies with TNS.
“Every year I set myself a target of double figures. Yes, I’ve missed half the season, but I’ve got half the season to go too.
“Just want to win as many games as we can, but I’ve got to get back in the team first.”